Vacation Idea #23 - Kidnap Your Spouse!

WISH i was on HOLIDAY

Every Monday from January to September

- Vacation Idea #23 -

Kidnap Your Spouse

How to kidnap your spouse and why you should!

Isn't my hubby a good sport for taking that photo. First, this is on the internet, so 

I do not really mean kidnap as in 'take someone by force', but jokingly use the term to mean 'surprise' by taking them on an outing that they don't have knowledge of before hand. And while this post is mainly about marriage these tips might work for a son or daughter, brother or sister, or anyone that you wanted to spend time with.

  "I am kidnapping you this weekend!"
Starts the game. And then the following questions are asked: 'Are you up for a surprise? Are you free from work? Did you have other plans that are pressing?' And then the other person (usually with a giant smile) asks 'Whyyyyy? Whhat are we doing?' To which the reply is 'YOU will just have to wait and see!'

I started this little game early in our marriage. Back then we couldn't agree on which store to go to for milk, let alone what town/hotel/restaurant we should vacation at. Plus he liked 5 star restaurants and I liked... camping. Totally incompatible. Totally. I started to wonder if our relationship was in peril! So I took a leaf from my childhood (see post) and one weekend I told my husband not to make any plans because I was kidnapping him. He was like a kid in a candy store. All week it was 'what are we doing?' Honestly, that was years ago now and I do not remember where we went for our first kidnap, but if I had known just how important this whole concept would turn out to be for our marriage I would have a whole scrapbook dedicated to it. I do remember he loved it, enough to prompt me to plan more. We always had fun, even if it wasn't 'his thing' we still enjoyed ourselves. Spending the time together doing something new is always fun. And the result? He started kidnapping me back!!

Over the years I have talked with other couples, some who had been married decades longer than we had, about our vacations. They would say things like 'we could never go there, the only thing she likes outdoors is the ocean' or 'he doesn't consider it a vacation unless we spend a week there' and 'my significant other just doesn't like that sort of thing' and so on.

I realized they were still in that place where we were before I started the kidnaps. After 10, 15, or more years of marriage these couples were still unwilling to let their significant other plan a vacation, still unwilling to try something new, and still unable to share their favorite things with their spouse. It was then I realise how important this concept is and if you are finding yourself agreeing with the things above or you find it hard to let the other person be in control of an outing then this post is FOR YOU. 

HOW TO PLAN ONE:

1. Get a general idea of what you would like to take them to do. Something you like that is new to them is OK, but it is important to plan in details they will like such as a trendy hotel instead of a Bed and Breakfast (or vise versa). And getting them to like what you like can't be the first motive. A motive yes, but not the first one. You must make sure to plan an outing you know they will have fun at too.

2. Make sure your significant other has the day/days off and doesn't have any pressing to do. And tell them you have a surprise (or adventure, if they don't like surprises) for them. Only give them enough information to insure they set aside enough time for what you have planned.

3. Set your reservations if any are needed.

4. Pack for the trip in secret. If you must, tell them to pack an overnight bag. But only if your must, some of our best trips included giggles as the other person (who had been unknowingly packed for already) asked if this was overnight and then said 'cause I don't have my toothbrush'.

5. The reveal: Only once you have reached your destination, lay out your plan either in one big swoop or by saying 'and we have more planned for tomorrow'.

THE RESULT

I have found that as he has come to love or at least understand some of the things I love.  AND this had a reverse effect: because of going on outings I thought he would like and because of the kidnaps he took me on, I now like some things I never thought I would enjoy.  There are so many things I have tried, like snowboarding, that left to myself I would have never tried. I have come to trust my husbands judgement when we plan vacations together and he has learned to trust mine. Even when we know that a particular event is not our favorite, we no longer struggle over it because we know that it still be fun just because we are together.

SOME OF OUR KIDNAPS:

--I took the family fishing on a boat in the middle of a very quiet lake for the whole day.

--He took me to a Seaside, Oregon which is now one of my favorite spots in the whole world.

--I took him to the San Juan Islands. It was funny too, because the week before he was saying 'you know we ought to go there sometime', and had no idea I had already made reservations.

--Backpacking, I took him, totally against his will and now this is one of our favorite family activities.

--Snowboarding, he took me, totally against my will and now this is one of our favorite family activities.

--And the kidnap to end them all: Disneyland! He planned the money, packed us all in secret buying whatever he couldn't find, gave his dad the key to our house so our cat was looked after, made all the reservations, and laughed out loud (literally) as I said 'are we really going to the airport?!?!?' Now, how am I EVER going to top that?

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